Friday, December 29, 2006

a little bit of shopping today...

I had a gift card burning a hole in my pocket, so the first chance I had, I blew it all!!  Sports Authority.  I bought a bunch of clothes for my walking endeavor.  The kind of fabrics that keep you cool and dry, so, while I could have gotten a lot more for my money, these are a little pricey.  But I did manage to find some sales.  I bought 3 pairs of black shorts.  Yes, all black, but 3 different styles.  I need to experiment and see what works best.  I hear that what works for 6 miles doesn't work for 13 miles.  I bought 3 shirts, and a 3 pak of dry socks.  For all that, I owed only $6.  Woo-hoo!  (and I didn't even walk yesterday...)  LOL!

Sheila's back!!  and she looks like Phyllis!  (correction: Y&R)

I was able to get out by myself today because Gary took the boys to Schofield Barracks (an Army post here) for a cub scout thing.  He took some cute pictures.  I'll try to post a few.  But theirs and my trip got cut short due to the dumb Striker thing.  The judge came back with a ruling, so Gary had to go into work and he has to interpret what it means or something like that.  You know lawyers, they have to check out all the loopholes.  :-)

Anyway, early this morning I went to get my 3rd fill.  Put in 75 cc's.  Ka-bam!  I'm getting me some booby!  At first it felt heavy, and a little like having a softball on my chest, but at the moment it's a little sore.  I asked the nurse and she said it'll be about 4 more fills.  The PS wasn't there.  She asked me if I wanted to go B or C and I said B.  I want to match the other size.  I really don't want to go bigger (it'll make me look fatter).  I think B is the best size for me.  She said that some ladies get lifts on the other side, and that's definitely what I want to do.  Although I dread the thought of surgery on the "good" side.  But I really don't one side to be that of a teenager and the other side to be that of a 40 something who's had twins.

Finally, I'm going to get to play the gameboy!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

images from Christmas

A Christmas tradition I started when we had the boys was to bake a birthday cake for Jesus.  This year we did it with cupcakes.  Unfortunately, I don't have all my "stuff", so I had to improvise with an assortment of paper plates and such.  Looks pretty bad, but the boys liked the "tower"! 

Another tradition is to do an advent calendar.  Last year I bought a reusable calendar from www.desiringgod.org , John Piper's wife had created this burlap hanging with velcroed figurines.  Here it is complete with baby Jesus in place!

This is a picture of the star that mom bought for me at the flea market.  If you ever get to Oahu, you MUST go to the flea market at the stadium.  It's held every Wednesday and Saturday.  You get the BEST souvenier bargains.  This star was positioned in such a way that it was an eye hazard to me and Gary every time we passed it!!  LOL!

Cookies for Santa (oreos). 

Pictures of the boys:      Jake     

Ryan     

    gray haired me trying to open a gift  

yes, all they've done is play game boy  

 

And hold on to your hats, the best present ever.  I apologize in advance for causing you to covet.  My DH picked out this adorable purse for me.  He knows that I can't carry a shoulder strap purse any more.  And I've been eyeballing purses like this.  Isn't it darling??

I'm sorry if the pictures come out too small.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Merry Christmas!

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning. 

Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.  In him was life, and that life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John.  He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe.  He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.  The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.

He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him.  Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God -- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

The Word became flesh, and made his dwelling among us.  We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."

John 1:1-14

Not the typical passages used for the Christmas story, but ain't it great?!

We went to see The Nativity yesterday.  I very much recommend it, especially if you can manage before you cast aside all things Christmas.  It'll really help put that visual in your mind when you read the nativity story to your kidlings.  It's got some strong scenes - but it was okay for my 7 year olds.

And finally, this song is my wish for you and yours:

Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prospero año y Felicidad

I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heart

I'll be back... sometime after the big day.

<IMG height=1 loop=3 dynsrc=http://www.yuleloveit.com/midis/midi_files/feliznavidad.mid width=1 autostart="true">

 

Thursday, December 21, 2006

santa hats

at school yesterday, the kids had a carol sing along.  I took a couple of pictures, but these two were the best of the bunch...

Those little pointy santa hats are so funny.  They looked like a sea of gnomes.  The 2nd grade class sang "Rudolph" in Japanese.

I finally made the buckeyes are they were sooooo good.  I knew I was in danger, so I stuck a batch in the freezer and when they got firm I boxed them up and sent them to my neighbor.  We were left with a lot and they just got polished off.  *sigh*  They really didn't stand a chance.  Note to self, it's too warm here to mess with making any more.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

sometimes you just gotta love this place!

Right now on tv is an "island style" Christmas special - complete with ukulele and hula, singing and stories.  And just the previous hour on another channel (a major channel) was real hula dancing by some of the local hula groups (probably from the Kamehameha schools, but I didn't see who sponsored it or anything, I just caught a few minutes of it).

Gary had his first famous person sighting today.  He saw a famous Sumo wrestler, who is now retired, Konishiki.  He was in normal attire, he didn't even have a top knot!

This guy is huge.  He weighs like 640 pounds.  He was actively wrestling when we lived here last. 

Another famous, but retired, Sumo wrestler is Akebono.Akebono is a svelt 550 pounds.  He is Hawaiian born, which is a big deal in the Sumo world not being Japan born.  I believe he was the first to break the barrier.  We used to watch him too on tv.

Last week, when I was mailing packages, I had my first confirmed famous sighting.  You've heard of Famous Amos cookies?  Well, Amos himself (Wally Amos) was in the post office!  Very tall black man with a funny hat on and he pulled out a kazoo and hummed out Jingle Bells for a little kid.  A very friendly personable man.He looks exactly like this!!  And he's just a friendly as he looks.

School is out for the boys.  I'm hoping we get to sleep in tomorrow -maybe all the way to 7a.m.!  Gary has taken off until next Wednesday!  Yipee!

Mercy, this show is so funny!  This lady  and man are reading the Night Before Christmas and inserting their own thing inbetween.  "day makin' fun of him cause he fat - day ain't nutin wrong wit a little extra!"  Now they are arguing about the man's pronunciation of Vixon - "how you spell dat, wit a B?  No wit a V as in bictory, bixon bixon; you can't speak no english"  LOL!  Too funny!  I'm dying here!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

our tree

This is our pitiful Charlie Brown Christmas tree.  And it's the Big Tree!  We have a tiny aqua SpongeBob tree (I don't have a picture of it).  I was determined to not bring much Christmas junk, and I didn't.  But this is pitiful.  It's tempting to buy a real tree - but we don't have enough ornaments!  I suppose we could make ornaments...  Ha-ha-ha-ha! 

It really doesn't feel Christmassy around here.  And the hot weather doesn't help matters.  But people are really making an effort to do it right.  Soon we are going to have to make that drive around town to look at lights.

And so it begins... one of my toes is hurting.  From walking.  I've been walking all this time, not one squeak of complaint from my feet.  ppfffffftttt.  I'm such a hypochondriac.  Is that even the right term for it??  I'm a weenie.  An excuse maker.   Whatevuh.

What am I doing right now?  I'm waiting for butter to soften.  LOL!  About as thrilling as watching paint dry.  I'm going to attempt to make buckeyes.  Those chocolate dipped peanut butter balls.  Just a little something to give the neighbors and mailman.  If they survive the night. 

Monday, December 18, 2006

up in the air

I'm still up in the air about it. 

Okay, so I've been thinking about the why.  Who cares about the why.  I can think of a thousand reasons that it's a good thing to do, but I haven't really prayed about it yet.  So it doesn't matter what I come up with.  I have time though.  I'm going to continue walking because that's what I do anyway.  I'm sorry if that sounds short and rude.  I don't mean it to.  I had typed in a whole bunch of stuff, but it just kept going on and on and got on my nerves.  If it gets on *my* nerves, then imagine how you will feel!

To answer lanurse's question - Gary would not do it with me.  He hates walking.  :-D

And to answer your other question, about the fills.  They don't hurt.  At least not if the port is where you are numb.  The expanders have ports built in.  The doctor has this little magnetic device that he uses to locate the port and mark the spot with his pen.  X marks the spot!  The little needle is connected to a tube which connects to the syringe (the huge syringe!).  There is a tubing system where they can draw the saline from the bag, do the fill, and then draw again, all without much trouble.

Anyway, can you believe Christmas is next week??  Are you done shopping and wrapping?  I finally found the perfect gift for my DH!  He's so hard to shop for.  I have to finish up the boys, do some candy making and get the last minute stocking stuffers.  I've already bought a ham for Christmas eve.  I like to do a nice breakfast for christmas day.  So I need to hunt for recipes.  Busy, busy, busy!!  But it's a good busy.  :-)

Saturday, December 16, 2006

okay, just what am I thinking??!!

I'm seriously toying with an idea that frankly, scares me.

Let me preface this with a little tidbit about me.  I'm not athletic.  I'm not the sporty kind.  I don't like to sweat and I have no natural balance or rhythm.  I'm sooooo unlike my husband.

But, in order to live this life, you have got to find a way to move your body.  There are 3 things that I do with a semblance of pleasure.  I walk, I do step aerobics, and I like to lift.  I haven't done the last two in quite a while.

My husband is responsible for planting the idea in my head.  He actually suggested it several weeks ago.  The idea is....... drumroll please.........

to walk the Honolulu Marathon.

It's just walking.  Just walking.  Walking.  Walking for 26.2 miles!  Walking.  I can do it.  Can't I?

I think it would be nice to do it in a decent timeframe.  Ya know?  I am soooo out of shape.  I've been walking every day since a few days after my surgery.   Which, of course is now much longer and faster than those first few weeks.  I've been thinking about my reconstruction.  I should be through with fills by February, have a 6 week wait before the exchange surgery, so that's prolly around May (new boobies for my b-day!) and a few weeks of recovery.  I can start ramping up my walking now, practice walking faster or longer.  Take the recovery time and then really start the training.  The training schedules I've seen are for 24 weeks.  The marathon is in December.  I think the timing works.

I broached the subject with Gary, and he said "I think it's a good idea".

It's a big committment, timewise.  Gary has run two marathons.  White Rock and the Honolulu marathons.  He's a runner because he's in the army, but he's not a good runner.  He's not built for it.  He's built for hockey, football or catcher.  He's got huge legs.  Naturally muscular - his sister is like this too.  It's genetic.  He never lifts because his thighs are gargantuan and he has a hard enough time finding pants to fit.  Lifting would make them even bigger!  BUT he'll never run a marathon again.  He's destroyed his ACL.  Thank the Lord for his huge thighs.  Those thighs are keeping him from going under the knife.  He's strong enough to function quite normally.

I remember how exciting it was to cheer him on at White Rock.  I couldn't make the Honolulu - but I've been grilling him about water stations and port o potties.  Yes, I'm more worried about going potty and being hydrated than actually walking.  Ignorance is bliss. 

Today we saw an old man walking on the sidewalk all hunched over and he said that's how I'll be walking the day after.  :-)  Oy.  Will I really follow through??  I'm really not good at following through when there is something like this that is long term.

It's late and I'm trying to catch this episode of Top Chef.  I'll post tomorrow about the Why I'm considering this... (notice the lack of committment LOL)

Friday, December 15, 2006

my tangerine tree

As you can see, it's loaded.  It's been like that ever since we moved here.  I thought they were limes and was so excited about the prospect of making "key" lime pie.  But they are starting to turn orange.  Tangerines.  If you like tangerines, they are good.  I'm not a tang. fan.  I've got a neighbor who loves them, so I told her she can have all she wants for free.  Keeps the bees away.  She said the kids that lived here before us sold them for a quarter each!  LOL!

BTW, today I saw the lady that has been supplying us with avacados.  (even though the season is now over)  I made sure I thanked her for her wonderful avacados - hopefully ensuring I will get to partake in next year's crop.  I wonder if I can plant an avacado seed...  LOL!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Me, me, me

I got this survey from Kim http://journals.aol.com/demandnlilchit/Ishavedmylegsforthis/

 

Part 1: The Birth of You

Were you a planned baby?:
Yes, but no more after me...LOL!

Were you the first?:
Nope, I'm da baby.

Who was present at your birth?:
Probably just mom and the hospital staff.  This was the "olden days".

Were your parents married when you were born?:
Yes.

What is your birthdate?
May 7, 1965

Part 2: The Family


Are you parents married or divorced?
Married for 45 years!

An only child?:
No, but it wouldn't have hurt to have a few more sibs.

If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?:
The baby.  The annoying little sister, in love with all my brothers friends.  *sigh*


What are your sibling's names?:
Jim III  (we still call him Jimmy, but he wants to be called Jim)


Which parent do you get along with best?:
I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may incriminate me!!  Let's just say my mom is like me and my dad is a peacemaker at heart.


What do you fight about?
silly things.  usually when I feel someone is<FONTFACE="COMIC MS? Sans> trying to run my life...

Do you have step parents?:
No


Part 3: The Friends


Do you have more than one best friend?
Yes

What do you like to do when you are together?
Unfortunately, all my good friends are long distance...We move waaaay too much and this is a touchy subject for me

Do you share the same interests?:
Some

Which friend can you tell anything to?:
I have a group of cyber friends, it's a private group, but not really anyone IRL - I tell my mom a lot


Part 4: Your Personality


How high/low is your self esteem?:
I esteem myself well in general, except when it comes to looks particularly


Do you get depressed about things easily?:
No.


Are you an extrovert (outgoing) or an introvert (reserved)?:
  I'm an introvert - an open book if you know me, but it's hard to break through that invisible barrier into intimacy

Are you happy?:
Extremely!

Do you live life to the fullest?:
On occassion - so that would be a no.

Part 5: Appearance


Are you comfortable with the way you look?:
Yes and No.  If I were to have something fixed, I wouldn't be able to choose just one thing.  So it's a real kick in the rear to have to have my boobs worked on - I was relatively satisfied with them.  But yes because I really don't think about my appearance beyond the initial getting ready in the a.m. - just as long as it's okay.


Describe your hair?
Not thick enough, naturally curly, meaning straight in back, wavy in parts, frizzy at the temples and curly elsewhere.  Mousy brown with lots of gray (and I must mention the gray has a mind of it's own, kinda wiry and sticking out at odd angles), and a gray streak in front, which I like.

How do you dress?
casual-comfortable - but in Hawaii, I dress in shorts and t-shirts

Part 6: The Past


Were you a strange child?:
No.  Not according to me.  :-)

What did you used to love that you no longer do?
Pintos (the car), Tom Cruise - but otherwise, I'm pretty faithful

Do you have the same friends?:
I still keep in touch with some of my high school friends.  The last reunion firmed that up, and having them on my bc prayer team firmed that up too.

Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?
No.  The ideal Leave-It-To-Beaver childhood.  I've been very blessed. 

Part 7: The Future


What is your ambition?
To be the mom that my kids need, and to always be willing and eager to do what God wants me to do.

Are you scared of growing old?:
no

Do you want to get married?:
I am married!


Part 8: The Outdoors


Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?:
I'm an indoor body, but I do love that we can eat every single meal outdoors!  And I love *weather*!  I just don't want to be hot or cold!

Favorite Season:
Fall - relief from the heat and anticipating the holidays

Do you like walking in the rain?:
I hope so - I've been caught in the rain at least 4 days in the past week and a half.  As long as I have a hat and don't have to worry about my hair frizzing.

Part 9: Food


Are you a vegetarian?:
Absolutely not.  Me like me some meat.  But I am cutting back on the red meats and portions.

What is your favorite food?:
I'm on a guacamole kick, and fresh pineapple kick - I love brownies and addictive spicy hot foods - like Mexican.

What food makes you want to gag?
eggplant, liver

What is your favorite dessert?:
Fudge, well, it's my favorite sweet

What is your favorite restaurant?:
I like me some Bojangles!  I have favorites in every town we've lived - except here...


Are you a fussy eater?
Not in my opinion, but in my mom's opinion.


Part 10: Relationships and Love


Are you single or taken?:
Taken

If taken who is the lucky guy/girl?:
Gary

Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?:
Hmmm.... I guess so, never thought about it.  (obviously I take it for granted)


Do you believe in love at first sight?:
  maybe for others.  Sure, why not?

Part 11: Experiences


What was one of your greatest experiences?:
I've had several really great experiences, but that ultrasound telling me that we had twins ("did I tell you two or three?") and that pregnancy was great.

What was one of the worst?
miscarrying just a couple of days after getting a positive pg from my IVF.

Have you ever done drugs?
No

Have you ever thought you were going to die?:
No, even though I've faced death a couple of times now.

So now you have learned a lil more about me....if you do this in your own blog send me back a link please!

*********************************************************

I want to amend the "love at first sight" answer.  I absolutely fell in love at the first sight of my babies.  Of course, I loved them already, but my goodness, I was head over heels!  As far as my DH is concerned, I absolutely was smitten, he is good looking, but what got my heart was I met him initially at the college orientation dance and he memorized my address and wrote me a 4 page letter just a few days later.  And he wrote me all summer.  Then we started dating/hanging out when school started.  Letters.  That's what snagged me.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

despite my motherly instincts...

I have signed the boys up for another session of martial arts.  Oh boy.

Sent a package via UPS today.  Whatever you do, find a way to send your packages by the post office!!  I do believe I paid more than I did for the gifts I was shipping...

I believe that the time spent standing in line is worth me being a SAHM!  I'm going to be doing that multiple times until I get these gifts all mailed.  I'm proud to say that I've got all the gifts for the extended family bought and wrapped.  Two boxes mailed and another set boxed up.  Three more boxes to find, because I'm not going to UPS again!

Been to McDonald's lately??  We went this weekend and the boys got IZ toys.  Da-duh-da-da-duh da da.  Recognize the tune?  AUGHHHH!  That silly tune goes through my head all the time.  That silly thing sings it at least 7 times in a row.  And we were surrounded by IZ's singing their silly little heads off at McD's!  It was hilarious.

I got stung by a jellyfish this morning.  While walking on the beach, it was littered with little man o wars, and my big toe got wrapped up in a tentacle.  (are they called tentacles?)  My toe didn't get stung, curiously, but a string slapped my ankle on my other foot, and that stung.  The little thing was only about 1 1/2 in. but they have really long, stubborn stingy strings/tentacles/whatever.  It stopped stinging by the time I got home.

Monday, December 11, 2006

2nd fill today

Woo-hoo!  It's at least an A cup now!  The cleavage on the one side is soooo much better than on the natural side.   I can see it now.  One perky 16 year old boob, one droopy 41 year old boob.  Lovely.  Who cares?  As long as *something* is in the bra, ya know?  I actually walked out of the hospital with the fake stuffing in my purse.  Ya-hoo!  They put in another 100 cc's.  So I have 200cc's total.  They use a giant syringe.  I got a look at that syringe, and if my eyes didn't decieve me, 50 cc's is 2 ounces.  So I've got a cup of saline so far.

I tried to finish up the christmas shopping for the extended family today.  By the end of the day (just a couple of hours is all I have), I was annoyed.  I was annoyed at the hand that was squashing down on my booblet.  At least that's what it felt like.  I came home and found a more comfortable bra. 

I spent all afternoon wrapping gifts yesterday, and I'll finish up today's.  Then I've got to box it all up and get it in the mail!  There's no way it's gonna make it on time for Christmas.

Do you ever feel like there's just not enough time in the day??  (and what am I doing on the computer??)

And along all this, I've got to take the boys on a grocery shopping trip for school and we've got to create a snack using whole grains - for both of them.

Saturday, December 9, 2006

the playground and cards...

Note to self: next year, photo cards from Kodak or somewhere like that. 

Today, in the mail, I got the chosen one, the christmas photos that I ordered.  So I started working on the cards.  This is supposed to be the easy, fun part.  I bought 3 packs of make-your-own photo cards from Walmart, on sale, last year.  Just slap on the photo, add the embellishments that they provide and wah-la!  Instant cute Christmas card.  Except, you've still got to do the insides and addresses.  Which is enough as it is, without having to make the cards.  (but it's so hard to resist the double whammy of bargain and craft item)  So, to make it even more challenging, I cannot find my address database.  The one I use every year to print out mailing labels.  Augh!  The thought of starting from scratch is terrifying.  I'm going to forget someone.

I could just wait and sent only to those that have sent me a card...    Evil, I know, but I've done it before....  not intentionally, mind you.

Oh, I have decided to NOT include a family letter or note of some sort indicating the difficulties of this year.  I am going to put in a Christmas appropriate scripture, the words "Mele Kalikimaka" which is Hawaiian for Merry Christmas and I found a pink ribbon clipart that I will put somewhere on the inside of the card, in a small, unobtrusive way.  I will actually sign the card.  LOL!

The playground saga continues.  Today I saw Jake and Ryan once again backed up to the fence, this time on the very far side of the playground, by the big boys.  J&R both confirmed that the boys came after them while they were minding their own business.   The boys took off like lightening when they saw us coming (the moms).  I can't imagine it, but I think they thought we wouldn't be paying attention.  Anyway, to further confirm that Jake and Ryan are like night and day, when we were walking towards each other, Ryan was bawling and Jake was smiling.  LOL!  Ryan has such a tender heart and Jake is just oblivious.  He has no fear because he is not living in reality.  :-)  God's got something special in mind for that child.  According to him, he just wants to be their friend.  Bless that child.  You gotta love him.  And Ryan, it's so cute how when he sees Jake getting involved with these kids he goes over to intervene.  Even though he is scared to death.  My brave boy.  I just love seeing the brotherly love. 

Excuse me while I'm verklempt.

Have a great weekend.

Thursday, December 7, 2006

nothing much...

Just wanted to check in.  I'm still here and don't have any words of wisdom or wit.  I've been busy Christmas shopping.

I'm not sure why, but every time I go out, I have encounters with the less pleasant aspects of this place.  Today, it was when I was crossing the street.  I was crossing at a crosswalk, but not at a light.  A man was crossing with me.  At first glance, he seemed normal.  Well, Hawaii normal.  If this were a metropolitan city, maybe not.  Casual, yea scruffy, dressing is normal here.  So we're in the median and the man sticks his foot into the road expecting the cars to stop.  Thank goodness he hesitated and watched the cars because one stopped and the other didn't.  So he screamed, and I mean screamed loudly, the F word.  I just scuttled across with my head down mumbling, calm down, calm down.  After we get across and I've walked a few steps in the opposite direction he says, sorry lady.  Yeah, right.  You kiss your mama with that filthy mouth?  Crazy dude.

Needless to say, that spoiled the fun of Christmas shopping.

Went into Lanikai Juice, but had no LOST sightings.  There is a smoothie chain here called Jamba Juice.  It's all over this island.  So I bought gift certificates for the teachers.

A little playground incident today.  I saw Jake and two bigger kids backed up to the fence.  I saw Ryan head over and ask what was going on.  (little brother protector)  So I hustled over there and Susan, my friend who is the mom of Patrick, Jake and Ryan's playmate, she hustled over too to deal with the big kids.  (good to have a New Yorker mom who has a voice that carries!)  Snatched my boys and got them calmed down and got them to play in closer proximity to us.  It seems the big boys were chasing Jake, but Jake had been trying to mess with them.  Jake told me he wanted to be their friend.  I told him that he was like a little pesky brother.  They don't want to play with little kids.  These guys are 6th graders.  Mine are 2nd graders.  I'll tell Gary about it and we'll discuss it over supper.  Boys!  I really don't know how to handle them!

Saturday, December 2, 2006

life

The other day I saw Cheryl Crowe (C or S?) on Oprah.  I'm not a fan, because I don't listen to that kind of music, but she said something that just resounded with me.  Sheryl/ Cheryl (I think the S looks right) had been diagnosed with breast cancer.  Just in case you didn't know.  She had a lumpectomy and radiation.  And she told Oprah that she wanted to remember every moment of it.  Because it's one of those refining events in your life.  I so agree.  I know I wanted to remember everything and be very present and aware of the moment.  I knew it was a refining event in my life too.  I remember sitting in my recliner, after my big surgery, consciously reviewing the day, feeling what I was feeling and just absorbing it all.  I'm not one for remembering details.  In fact, I would have to go check the calendar in order to tell you the day that I got the C news.  But I clearly remember every moment of that meeting.  I remember my emotions, my thoughts, the doctor and her demeanor.  I don't remember what I was wearing.  Or what I ate that day, or what I listened to in the car.

I like that Sheryl said it was a refining event.  Not defining.  Infertility doesn't define me, being a twin mom doesn't define me and this cancer sure doesn't define me.  But these events have worked hard at bringing out the bad and improving the good.  Important things have become more clear and focused.

Zech. 13:9 "This third I will bring into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like goldThey will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, "They are my people," and they will say, "The Lord is our God."'

Ps. 66: 8-12 "Praise our God, O peoples, let the sound of his praise be heard; he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping.  For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver.  You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs.  You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance."

Silver, gold, abundance.  These are good things.  Really, really good things.

Now, if I could just get all the impurities out the FIRST time.  Multiple firings = slow learner.  LOL!