Friday, September 12, 2008

change in plans

I guess I'll be journaling more now.  

As you know, I was scheduled to get my nip done on Thursday.  Was.  Maybe still, but I don't think so.  I called the PS office to ask if I could have a consult with him at the same time as my procedure.  The nurse called back to find out the situation.  She can't give me a definite answer, but I'm now prepared that it may be wait-until-your-situation-is-settled.  She will email the PS (who is currently in a 3rd world country doing charity work - don't tell me that the military is all bad!) and get back to me on Monday. 

So, I'm a little pouty.  But this may turn out for the better in the long run.

Anyway, this whole experience is already so much different than when I was diagnosed 2 years ago.  Then, we had just moved here and I had no friends, no home church.  It was a very self-focused, solitary experience.  Not so, this time.  This morning I told my first non-family person.  We already call each other bosom buddies.  She is in her late 50's early 60's - very youthful and funny and energetic.  She had chemo and radiation, and her diagnosis was a couple years before mine.  She has this tiny little tattoo of the Christian fish done on her chest where one of her radiation dots were.  Anyway, we are in the aerobics class together.  I told her and we all gathered around and prayed.  And then I shared via email with (edited) two people in my church.   They both emailed me back saying they too have bosom concerns  - so we are bosom buddies now.  God brought us together at just the right time.  Because none of us were going to share with the class.  Now we are joined together as prayer partners.

I have not told my vortex friends yet.  It's really been just too busy, especially with playground business.  But I know they are there for me when I do tell them.

I'm going to wait to tell mom and dad.  Last time, when I told them they bought plane tickets the next day, stayed 10 weeks just waiting around for something to happen, and then bugged out just a few days after my surgery, when I could have used them for a little longer.  So this time, knowing what their reaction will be, I'm going to time it better.  I'm going to wait until a plan is set and dates are clearer.  Don't get me wrong.  That time together was precious - I wouldn't trade it for anything, but it would be better for all of us if it was timed better.

Actually, if everything is B9, I think they would be quite resistant to my decision to have a prophy mast.  It's just a guess, but that's what I think.  Maybe I shouldn't project on them?  If I do go forward with a prophylatic mastectomy (which I will heretofore refer to as PM), I hope it will be AFTER the marathon.  Yes, I'm determined to do it.  Of course, then I think about the timeline for fills and all that mess.  I won't finish the process here in Hawaii.  Well, I needn't project out that far into the future.  I've not even been dx'd with anything.

I have to type all this stuff out.  It was rattling around my brain at 4:30 this morning and I couldn't get back to sleep.

No comments: