Tuesday, October 31, 2006

fun guy

Went in for the follow up yesterday and I'm still more red than they'd like to see.  The PS said I had a fungus.  So I have to use a cream.  The same kind of cream used to treat jock itch, athletes foot, ringworm...  Oh yeah.  Nice.  He also told me to make sure I work on my range of motion.  It needs work.  My shoulder is starting to hurt a little from holding my arm out.  Yes, I'm still holding it out.  I also have a hard time doing things with an inward motion with that arm.  The muscle gets very tight feeling.  Brushing my teeth tightens it up big time too.

Today I was thinking about how I needed to work on just simple tasks like that and I got sad because I wouldn't be able to do those PowerFlex type classes at gyms any more.  I hate exercise and I'm not athletic or coordinated, but that was one class that I really enjoyed.  I cringe at the thought of a push up or bench press.  Maybe someday I'll be back to it, but right now it's hard to imagine.  Yesterday, when everyone was gone, I got out some light barbells of mine.  3 pounders I believe.  I doubled up on my left arm and got some reps in.  I did some reps on my right bicep with the 3 pound but that's just too light, so I attempted to double that up.  Ummmm.  No way!  Guess what??  You use your chest muscle to hold up that weight!!

Today is Halloween. The boys are so excited.  The school does a costume parade and all the second graders made their costumes and dressed up like dalmations.  Very cute.   I took a couple of pictures, but they weren't very good.  We had a bit of a mix up with Ryan.  At the parent/teacher conference the teacher told me that Ryan was on the Halloween party planning comittee and he had volunteered relay games.  He had all these ideas.  Ms. Ryan was very excited because he is terribly shy in class and this was the first time he volunteered anything.  So I said that I would ask my DH and dad to see if anyone would help.  No one jumped at the idea, so I sent a note yesterday telling Ms. Ryan.  Well, Ms. Ryan saw me this morning at the parade and said Ryan was so excited about the games yadda yadda.  And I told her that I sent a note that no one would be able to help. She didn't get the note.   So she queried Ryan and he said  oh yeah, we've talked all about it. blah , blah, blah.  So I just sent dad out to help out.  It's rainy and the party is slated for 2 hours.  Way too long for a party at school.  I'm sure it'll be miserable, but I just can't do it.  My poor dad.  Oh well.  They're leaving next week, so it'll be a nice memory for Ryan.

I've been decorating the front porch.  I still need to do the cobwebs.  Ryan will be Darth Vader and Jake will be a Ninja.  I have bags and bags of candy waiting.  I've been good.  Haven't opened them up yet.  But then again, there is leftover birthday cake to keep me occupied.  LOL!

Edited to add Halloween pictures.

Monday, October 30, 2006

rumors and exercise

I've been meaning to post this for a while.  That house that I read in the paper that they said Oprah bought?  Well, I just have a hunch that she didn't buy that house.  Because, after the earthquake, I saw Oprah on tv stating the damage that happened to her Big Island house but said nothing about any other Hawaii house, if she indeed has another.  She referred to it as her Hawaii house.  Not one of her Hawaii houses. 

It's a theory.

So today I got tired of just sitting around doing nothing.  So I decided that I need to start doing some of these stretches in one of my books.  I lay down on the floor so I can do the thing where you clasp your hands behind your head and let your elbows wing out toward the ground.  Can't do it.  Even worse, I'm laying there on the floor and I can't get up.  Like a roach on it's back.  I don' t like the feeling in my "boob" when I'm laying flat or on my sides.  So rolling over to my side is not an option.  And my stomach muscles have disappeared.  What happened to them??  I could understand if I had the tram flap surgery, but I didn't.  Lordy, lordy.  Recovery is going to be a long slow process.  Obviously I've got a lot of work to do.  And I'm so grateful that I'm at the point that I can start on the recovery process.

Christmas shopping.  Gotta start thinking about it.  Less than 2 months.  Ack!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

sneezes and hiccups

Yesterday I sneezed once for the first time since surgery.  Good thing only once.  They usually come in 3's or 4's.  I thought I felt my expander literally jump off my chest and snap back in place.  But I do have a vivid imagination...

At the moment, I have hiccups.  This is not fun.  I need to go find my little purple pillow and smash it against my chest to keep my expander from leaping off and snapping back...

Who knew????



I'm so full...<groan>  We celebrated my dad's 70th birthday today, even though it's tomorrow.  We had steaks, baked potatoes, salad, rolls, and chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream.  I'm going to roll around the block with my DH in a few minutes.  <groan>

I'm a little upset.  Went out yesterday and bought a bra that is supposed to fool everyone.  Well, I put it on, with my t-shirt and showed DH and asked him "what do you think?".  He said, well, one is a little higher than the other, but no one will be able to tell because no one will be staring.  <thunk>  There goes my hopes, dashed.  I know that it's good enough to get by with, but I was expecting back flips.  Oh well.  THEN, I can't stand to have the bra on for very long.  I've got that hypersensitivity right under my non-existent boob.  Right where the crease would be.  :-(  This is VERY disappointing.  The bra I bought is not tight at all.  It is very comfortable, for about 5 minutes.

Whine over...

I called the American Cancer Society yesterday early morning.  They were going to get in touch with my Reach for Recovery volunteer to get them to call me to set up a home visit.  I haven't heard anything yet.  If my bra felt more comfortable, I would be planning to go to church tomorrow, so this would be more upsetting.  But as it is, I"m not planning to go to church, so I'm just a little upset. (impatient, maybe??  LOL!)  I know, I'm being a slacker not going to church.  If I had a home church, I would go, no problem.   Obviously, we need to make a decision.  Soon.  Anyway, last week mom found David Jeremiah on tv, so we watched that.  That was likely MUCH better preaching than anything we would be able to find on island.

Where is that rabbit??

Snail count this a.m.: 0 (zero)

Gary brought home a back scratcher for me yesterday.  :-)  *sigh*  That's true love, folks.


Friday, October 27, 2006


I'm tube free!!  Yeowch, did it hurt, but it's gone!!

My pathology came back good.  Clear margins.  They got all the cancer and didn't find anything else.  Good news!  Good news!  I'm so relieved!

My poor chest looks like hamburger meat.  The doctors pulled off the steri strips and agreed that the redness is from them.  But I'm still supposed to come in on Monday to make sure that was the only reason I'm so red.  He said I've got all these hills and valleys and dips because he tried to save as much skin as he could, but he not as much as he wanted because he had to cut around the excisional scar.  He said if I were not going to be reconstructed then he would have made me completely smooth and flat.  Sometimes I wish I had taken that route and just lived with stuffing myself.  He said that I would smooth out with fills and the plastic surgeon would smooth out the rest.  Nip/tuck. 

Thursday, October 26, 2006

note to caretakers...

I've got a little time to kill before my appointment today.  So I just wanted to put this out there.  Just a little note to whoever is a caretaker...  If the "patient" says it hurts, please listen and adjust.  Don't go into a diatribe about how stimulating it is (like you don't know what you are talking about), just make an adjustment and ask "is this better?"  It takes a LOT for the patient to say anything negative about care they are getting.  We are so very appreciative.  So if we say it hurts, you can bank that it HURTS!

Now, I'm sure the caretakers have a whole litany of things they'd like to say to us patients...

another outing, appt. tomorrow

Went to the commissary today.  Shuffled around the store like an old lady.  I really hate trying to hide the tube and bulb and hanging my arm out at a wierd angle.  The drain comes out tomorrow!!  I'm confident of that.  My followup appointment is tomorrow and yesterday I had <30ml and today, so far I've only had 15ml.  It probably won't even be a full 10 when I empty it tonight.  Woo-hoo!

I look forward to taking a shower, wearing a bra, if they let me wear a bra, then I look forward to wearing t-shirts!!  Something not buttoned.  I look forward to starting to walk again.  I look forward to sleeping in my cushy bed again!!  I look forward to hugging my children again, without having to push their hands away.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

earthquake pictures and warning, pigs head picture!

I finally figured out another way to add pictures!  Yipee!  Enjoy!  That's Gary grilling the toast and bacon.

my outing

The parent/teacher conference went.  Jake and Ryan's teachers are like night and day.  (even though they are both Ms. Ryan)  Ryan's teacher is type A.  I walked in and she had everything organized and explained everything and took notes of my concerns - it was a good meeting.  She is going to get him evaluated by the speech therapist.  Ryan is so different at school than at home.  He just doesn't talk at school.  He doesn't stop talking at home.  So she really doesn't know if he has a speech problem!  LOL!  I told her about how he says "w" for l's and "w" for r's - still.    She asked me if I thought it was an accent thing - being southern and all, people think I have an accent.  I don't hear it...I do know that I don't enunciate well, but that's just lazy.  So, if I can't hear my own accent, how can I hear one in my own child??  I understand everything he says, but I'm always translating for him.  That's why he needs the evaluation.

I went in to Jake's Ms. Ryan's classroom.  I sat down she shoved some papers at me and sat there.  Didn't utter a word unless it was in response to a question.  Huh?  I'm really not a talkative person, so this was quite difficult.

As far as academics, these boys are doing well.  Very well in math, both of them.  Good thing they are smart, because I haven't been much of a help this year.  Jake is a stellar reader, but he only scored "adequate" in this category because he's lacking in other areas.  He doesn't pay attention (my daydreamer), he's sloppy in his writing, and he doesn't pay attention. (can't say that enough)  She said he is not comprehending as well as he is reading - but I think it's just not coming out well according to the worksheet questions.  Last night he asked me if I knew where the word "earth" came from.  I said no and he proceeded to tell me.  He sounded like an encyclopedia!!  nope, I'm not worried about his comprehension.  I think he needs maturity.

I was so tired by the end of the meetings.  I was tired after the first meeting!  So I've concluded that I'm not ready to go out and about yet.  It was very difficult hiding the drain and tube and I was so paranoid about that and my flat side.  It will be easier when the tube comes out and I can wear a stuffed bra.

This morning Jake told mom that he didn't like her telling him what to do (to get ready).  He wants me to do it.  Awww.  they do care.  LOL!

Monday, October 23, 2006