Saturday, June 6, 2009

dressing room mirrors are awful! - rant

(disclaimer: the following probably has TMI and is not a sweet fun read)

Way too truthful.

So I went bra shopping today. I've gained a few pounds making my current bras a bit uncomfortable. Bra shopping is horrible anyway, and even worse when you're fat. You just can't hide from yourself in those mirrors! What a shocker. It wasn't even a three way mirror, just the one mirror. But my stomach was shocking! And then there's the miss-matched girls issue. I was just horrified. Remember, I've got the magic mirror in our bathroom. I look pretty good in it - and my hair doesn't even look nearly as gray! But this mirror showed the real me. My foob is changing - and not for the good. I caught a view of it from a different angle. The mx scar looks like it's tightening or adhering - I'm getting indented in that area. Plus, I've been doing pushups - it's been a goal of mine to regain some strength there and get over that uncomfortable feeling. It looks like my pec muscle is developing a little bit - not a lot, I'm still a weakling - but I'm a little fuller on the topside, which exacerbates the odd shape I'm developing. Plus, in the mirror it looked like that side was barely an A cup and my natural side (esp. with weight gain) is marching towards a C cup. So you can imagine that this shopping expedition was depressing, demoralizing, unfruitful and really made me angry at my plastic surgeons! How can they not see the freakish nature of this show? And I'm stuck with it!

On top of it all, my good side has been driving me crazy. I don't know if I'm drinking too much caffeine or have gained too much weight - but it hurts so bad when I try to run. I have to hold it down! (remember, I'm not big busted) I can't wear a tighter sports bra because that bothers my other side too much. My lumps are still there and they are starting to bother me when I run - I can FEEL one of them rattling around when I run. Yeah, stop running. I know what you are thinking - but this lump has been biopsied, mammogramed, ultrasounded and mri'd. So I'm fine - as far modern science can tell me. But I'm contemplating mx'ing it. No, not just because it's tender. I've been thinking about this a long long time. It may be time. (in the near future) I'm going to start saving the coins that are laying around the house so I can get a tummy tuck too. (a girl can dream)

I'm just fed up with it all.

I think I'll just have to buy one of the extender things to gain comfort in the bras that I currently own . Rats, I had a package in my hand but laid it down and forgot about it.
Am I alone in wanting to take some scissors to Kate's hair? I have no interest in the gossip and rumors of affairs - but I can't help but see John and Kate every 5 seconds on t.v. and those long heavy one-sided bangs drive me crazy. Let's just get a few wispy layers in there to balance it out and make it look feminine, shall we?

1 comment:

LYN said...