Thursday, November 29, 2007

my dream - freudian?

Not one of THOSE dreams!

It was one of those dreams that the feeling sticks with you all day.  I dreamed that tada! suddenly I was pregnant and in the hospital ready to give birth to twins.  I know it was a dream because my tummy was little and I was eagerly anticipating labor to begin.  I was actually disappointed that I wasn't feeling anything yet. 

Also, at some other point in the dream, I yelled out the F word (not in the context of labor).  I clamped my hands over my mouth but no one heard me.

One of my friends in the vortex told me that it was definitely about the marathon.  I'm very frustrated over being in the taper period before the marathon and anxious for the race to begin.  That's  true.  Maybe she's also telling me that she's sick of hearing me yap on and on about the marathon.  LOL!

Um, and NO, I'm not pregnant!  No chance of that!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

history - exciting??

I've never liked history in school.  My most disliked subject.  Dates and conflicts and names -memorized.  Dry, dull and boring.  Hate it.  (please take note history teachers)

Until this study of Daniel.

History in the context of prophecy fullfilled - kinda mindblowing!  Especially the detail and all the drama in how it came to be.  And what it means.

Over the course of this study, I have become thoroughly convinced that we (as a people of the human race) are robbing ourselves of some serious wisdom by Jews and Christians being so separate.  This has been revealing itself to me little by little over the past year.  As a Gentile, I know little to nothing about Judiaism (even how to spell it), apart from what is read in the Bible.  And that itself is difficult to understand, not being raised in the culture.  Reading the words and understanding the meaning complete with the nuances are two different things.  (who knew that when Christ talked about his yoke being light he just might not be painting a word picture about an oxen yoke?)

Oh how I mourn this!  How rich Bible study would be if we could come together!!

This particular Bible study makes this clear because the prophecy in the book alternates with it's relevancy to Israel specifically and to the world in general.  It's so fascinating!  And startling.  I've gotten a lesson as to the background of chanukah (sp?) from the historical and prophetic standpoints.  Previously, this has been a mysterious Jewish holiday - very secret and exclusive.  Well, it's a mystery no more.  (I've already over used the words exciting and fascinating - and I don't want to offend anyone by making it sound like good fiction instead of the serious reality that it was)

I'm learning all about the Ptolemies and Seleucids and Greece and Rome and Nebuchadnezzar and Babylon...  Don't ask me about dates, and my grasp on the names are tentative at best.  But I'm coming out of this study smarter than when I entered it.

I'm looking forward to the day, at the end of this world as we know it, when Jew and Christian come together.  Once we get to gabbing, it'll be one great big Aha moment.

(disclaimer - These are my own personal thoughts.  Please don't bash me!)

Monday, November 26, 2007

no longer blushing... (crazy venting)

I had my appointment with my plastic surgeon today.  I asked him about my neighbor, the new plastic surgeon at the hospital.  No.  My PS will not be abandoning me.  Whew!  Of course, we got into a discussion of who lived where.  He lives not far from me.  At least he doesn't live next door!!  It seems there are quite a few doctors in our neighborhood.  Anyway, the upshot is, my next door neighbor will NOT be seeing me naked!  Woo-hoo!  (now, if my neighbor were the janitor, then he'd already have seen me naked - you know how those things go...)  just kidding...

So, I don't have a surgery date yet, but am getting one soon for after the new year.  I got the requisite booklet talking about silicone implants.  Of course they have to bring up the scary stuff, however slight the risks are. 

I must say, over time I've become accustomed to my recon side.  No, it's not perfect, but it's not bad.  However, I still avoid bathing suit and bra shopping.  THAT has not improved.  And therefore, that's why I'm going through with the surgery.  (I want those surf lessons)

I tried to talk about all this with Gary.  He just won't give me an opinion!!  So frustrating.  He just wants me to be happy.  I told him I'd be happy if he gave me an honest opinion...  I'm sure he doesn't want to hurt my feelings.  But, according to him, if he were me, well, he didn't say it directly, but he wouldn't have done a thing.  What he did say was, "you're talking to a person who's afraid to get knee surgery".  Yep.  Talking to the wrong person.  I'm not afraid of surgery - I can't be!   I've had too much to be afraid.  HE still has his tonsils for crying out loud!  He was born pretty.  He just doesn't understand...

Gotta go pick up the boys at school.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I'm so mad at myself!

I could just kick myself from here to China!

I had made a hotel reservation for the weekend of the marathon, but for the life of me I cannot find the paperwork.  I made online reservations.  And I know I would have printed out the confirmation number.  I thought there would have been some sort of email confirmation, but if there was, I did not save it.  grrrrrr.  I cannot even remember which hotel I finally settled on.


I'm not this irresponsible.  Disorganized, yes, irresponsible, no.

And I'm embarrassed to say that I've done a frantic search and am just now thinking that I need to pray about it.  That should have been my first response.  Well, it's bedtime, everyone else is in bed, so I can't continue to search.  Good time to pray.

Meanwhile, I have lovely thoughts of Thanksgiving dinner dancing through my head.  We are going to a friend's house for the big meal and we discussed today who was going to bring what.  I hope I didn't impose myself on her because she made the comment that she thought I was bringing  a lot.  I'm only bringing 3 things - plus my whole family!!  (and 2 hungry sailors will be there) I'm doing the traditional green bean casserole (yum!), a cranberry thing, and a pie.  Easy peasy.  And it will save her some refrigerator and oven space.  Her oven is as small as mine.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

the result

Not what you thought.  It's not good.  We got passed over.  :-(  And this is really not good news.  When you are passed over, you are like the red-headed step-child (I'm sorry if that offends anyone, it's an old phrase).  You don't get the choice jobs, because they want the choice jobs to go to the guys who have a chance at promotion.  The chance of getting picked up "above the zone" is very slim.  Like 5%.  So, your career is over.  Yes, there are some who linger for years...  Who knows?  We may fall into that group...

I'm doing my best to not think of this as bad news.  Yes, it's disappointing.  But my head keeps telling me that God is in control and has another plan in store for us.  My heart is trying to catch up with my head.  (I've got a bruised ego, you know)

I Thessalonians 5: 16-18 "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

So I spent a significant amount of time in prayer yesterday.  I was picking apart a cooked chicken (great way to soften your hands) for a meal that I'm taking to a new mom today.  As usual, when I make meals for other people, I pray for that family while I'm fixing it.  So I started to pray for them, and all these other people came to mind and I prayed for them, and then I started to count my blessings.  Boy, let me tell you, that was a good time.  Good for my soul.  I'm really trying to not even go down the road of bitterness, and desperately trying to not talk bad about the person who we feel is the reason that Gary got passed over.  (yes, that sentence needs restructuring)  I need to work on the "be joyful always".  I so dearly want a pity party!  Have you ever felt that??  But a pity party gets you nowhere.  And who wants to be pitied?  So my new quest is to find that joy.  To anticipate what God has in store for us next.  Because, he may be saving us from certain disaster or saving us for some exciting adventure!  His plans are always better than ours, and let me tell you, our plans had us pegged to get promoted, work a few years and retire sometime at a good pay scale (very safe and milqtoast).  We may stay here another year.  I'm not sure that our Hawaiian adventure is over with.  I definitely felt that God had something in store for me to do with Asian people - I don't know whether Japanese, Korean, Chinese, or who  - so maybe that will come into play.

Ahhh.   There it is.  Hope.  That's what I had forgotten.  Yes.  Hope as in, looking forward to, anticipation, expectation.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

the list...

The big thing that has been consuming our lives for the last few months is the promotion list.  Gary's promotion board met a few months back and we found out last week that the list would be released on Wednesday.  Gary's boss gets early notification.

So this is a big deal for us.  It comes with a significant pay raise and better housing and a parking spot at the commissary!  Rumors fly.  Rumor has it that two people got promoted above the zone - Army lingo for, 2 people promoted who had been previously passed over.  That's great for them, but it takes away 2 slots of an already tight situation.  I have not been feeling good about this promotion because Gary has not been sent to Iraq and because he's on permanent profile due to his destroyed ACL.  Gary, however, is eternally optimistic.  And he has every right to be, since he's a good egg.  He loves the army and his country and works hard for them and is liked by all. 

But me, apparantly being a pessimist (I never thought I was), was feeling anxious and just felt compelled by God to pray with Gary about the situation on Sunday night.  Now, despite being very serious about our faith, we don't really pray together as a couple very often.  But we did.  Mostly prayed that I would have patience and peace with whatever the outcome, and thanked God for all the good that he's blessed us with so far.

We found out yesterday.

But I can't tell until tomorrow.  The list officially comes out at 2:30 a.m. Wednesday morning.  Stay tuned...

Monday, November 12, 2007

Irish Spring or Dial?

This falls under things learned on the playground...

It has come.  The day that I've dreaded has come.  Well, one of the days I've dreaded, since you are probably thinking they learned about sex.  No, that's yet to come.

They learned the word.

THE word.

The F word.

And I'm not happy about it.  At all.

What I wanted to do: cut out their tongues and their friends tongues.  Okay, that's a little exaggeration.  I couldn't ever do that.  But...  I really wanted to cry.  It broke my heart into a million pieces.  (yes, adolescence is going to kill me)  I also wanted to ban them from seeing these friends ever again.  But, they are just kids and practicing naughty words.  Innocent - sort of -  as long as it stops at this point.

What I did: pulled out the mom lecture.  And the added bonus of scriptures about unwholesome talk and a little demo involving toilet water and milk.  I got the demo and scriptures from the Creative Corrections book by Lisa Welchel.  (yes, the Facts of Life girl)  She's married to a minister and has some really good stuff in that book.  I'll explain the demo, since I'm sure not many have this book:

You take two cups.  While the child is watching, you fill one with tap water and the other with toilet water.  Then you dump the waters out.  Then you pour milk into both cups and ask them which do they want to drink from?  Of course, they are repulsed by the toilet cup and choose the tap cup.  You explain to them how the toilet water has contaminated the pure wholesome milk.  And then you explain how people remember your unwholesome words (like you remember the toilet water) and all the good wholesome things you may say about  Jesus are spoiled by the bad language just like the wholesome milk is spoiled by the toilet water.  Yadda, yadda, yadda. (of course, you have to put out of your mind that the tap water is not filtered and the milk has bovine growth hormones - that just ruins a perfectly good picture story)

Of course, this demonstration only works if your kids care about Jesus - I guess you could change it to mean whatever you want.

I know a lot of people fall into the "words are just words" camp, but me, not so much.  One of the other moms falls into this camp, so she told her child how he shouldn't say certain words since they offend some people, and that is a particularly offensive word.  Then she went on to regail us (moms only) with tales of inappropriate uses of that word, actually saying it multiple times over, in the context of the story.  *sigh*  She's a good egg in general, but her New Yorkness really highlights the differences in the cultures we were raised in.

Back to my kids.   It just saddens me because I never heard this word until I was an adult.   I wish I had never heard it at all , but I'm glad I was much older when I did hear it.  I mourn for the loss of innocence for my children.  I've never even said it or typed it out, yet they've said it.  My babies.  :*-(

My dreams of a utopian childhood for them is rattled.  Again, this parenting thing is tough.  I've got a big learning curve ahead of me.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

here's one for the scrapbook, too bad I didn't have a camera!

You know how on my sidebar I say that people amuse and befuddle me (or something like that) - this entry goes under that section.

I walked on the beach today, first time in a long time.  Just for a change.  I brought my backpack to put my shoes in so I could splash while I walked.  Walk over and I had just changed into my shoes.  I was shaking out my towel, folding it up and concentrating on putting it in my backpack, all hunched over.  That's why I missed her coming.  When I stood up, I caught her passing in my peripheral vision, so naturally I turned to look.

Now let me pause here to say, yes, this is Hawaii and lots of people are on vacation here.  Please don't forget that lots of people live here too!

This gal was wearing long pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt.  The pants were pulled down far enough to expose the top of her crack.  The shirt was pulled up - yes up, to expose her naked boobies.  yes, naked.  Because I saw enough to know.  Saw too much if you ask me.

(Why do I feel a booby theme in my life?)

And she walked slowly, straight into the ocean.


It boggles the mind.

Why not just go topless?  (other than the fact that it's illegal)  Or at least whip off your shirt at the last second and plunge into the ocean?

This is Hawaii, U.S.A.!!  Not the south of France!  Travel tip: if you want to go to a nude beach, there is a beach on Maui called Little Beach.  It's next to Big Beach.  You can frolic in your nakedly nude glory all you want.  But for crying out loud - don't subject the locals to your nudity!!  That's what they make the teeny weeny bikinis for!

This was not an empty beach.  Lots of folks with their dogs.  It's pretty much a locals beach, lots of dogs.  (don't get me started on the dogs...) If you see a dog, then the human attached to it lives there.  Not a tourist.  We deserve time away from tourists and their fantasies.  Respect us!!!!!!

Listen to me rant like I was born and raised here.

But I laugh.  It WAS funny.  And all this weirdness is what makes the world go round!  Gotta love it!  :-D

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

am I blushing??

Y'all know me well enough by now to know that I'm modest and get giggly and embarrassed fairly easily.  So today, I'm at the school doing my volunteer work.  One of the other moms is my new next door neighbor.  When her husband introduced himself shortly after they moved in, all he said was that he worked at Tripler, the military hospital.  I didn't ask him what he did.  I found out today that he is a plastic surgeon.  Really?  <blush>  Oh lordy, has he been in on my 3 month follow up?  See, my plastic surgeon is always having other people in on our appointments - you know how it is.  Somebody's always got to learn something....  It's one of those situations where you are sure that even the janitor has seen you give birth or look at your boobies.  She asked me if I had been in the last 2 months.  Well, no.  But it was in August, and they've been here since July.  Hello, it's been longer than 2 months.  He could have easily been in that room, because I didn't pay one bit of attention to the other folks.  I focused very much on my doctor because I had questions that needed answers.

And then the paranoid thought comes to me: what if this new doctor means that MY doctor is going to leave?  Ack!  That would mean he would get my case.  I don't care so much about the surgery where I get the new implant - what I worry about is the NEXT stage.  The uh, making of the nipple.  Hello!  Can't ignore that one.  Or the conversation that it requires.  You just can't talk about "n's" with your next door neighbor.  And have him build the new one to look like the other one!  <faint>  I don't even want to go there.

Gary just laughs.  Men just don't understand the indignities we women endure.

On a semi (un)related side note: Gary and I were driving down the street and saw this very same neighbor running.  He runs shirtless in little running shorts.  I commented that I would only be able to recognize him half naked and not fully clothed - since this is the way I see him the most.

Shall  I say it?  Tit for tat....  LOL!  I can't believe I just went there.  :-D

I have got to find out a) if he was in that room, and b) if my PS is going to leave.  I don't know when I'll see him again and if I'll be able to screw up my courage.  But I have got to find out.  I'll report back if I find out anything...  Wish me luck!

Sunday, November 4, 2007

halloween pictures and miscellaneous

This is a picture of Jake and Ryan before school - they have a costume parade at school.  My marines look so serious!!

This is a picture of the boys before trick or treating.  They are at my front door.  My lame attempt at decorating this year.  The neighbors went nuts.  One neighbor even passed out fresh made cotton candy.  He also handed out tooth brushes.  A dentist I suppose.  We had tons of people.  It started at 6 and we ran out of candy by 7:35.  Thankfully the rain came down heavy at 8 and cleared everyone out.  It was getting loud and raucous outside.

I walked my first 20 miles today.  I have two 20 mile walks on my training schedule.  The marathon is getting closer!  By the way, I have a myspace page where I've been sorta documenting my long walks.  I'm twinbubbas if you want to check it out.  I just don't want to advertise it on the sidebar here, since I don't keep it up too often.

Great news!  Despite all the candy eating, I'm am currently wearing an old pair of size 8 shorts!!  I'm sure I'd be huge if I weren't doing all this walking.  I need to get back in control of my eating soon!  I do believe these shorts must have stretch in them, because I don't fit into any of my other size 8's.  LOL!  Still, it's something.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

he's all mine girls!

So Gary makes an announcement yesterday.  He doesn't usually make announcements or have hair brained ideas, that's my department.  (must be going through mid life crisis)  He announced that when he retires, he wants to start cooking as a hobby.

LOL!  Yeah.  Oh, you're serious.

He said that it shouldn't be surprising with all these cooking shows, Top Chef, Iron Chef, Dinner Impossible, Bobby Flay, Paula Dean... Yeah, the Paula Dean one had me concerened that all he was going to cook was butter and sugar.  But he said, "I'm not going to cook every day!"  LOL!

This is the enviable part, ladies: he said we're gonna need a large kitchen.  YES!!  Now you're talking.  But before you think he's become a woman, he also said, "it'll be attached to the large family room with the huge flat screen t.v.".   He's been dreaming about that t.v. for years and years.  He ain't getting one until we stop moving.  Might as well burn the money...

I'll post halloween pictures soon.