Monday, August 27, 2007

calendar

I just want to put out a plug there, that FORCE (facing our risk of cancer empowered) is putting out a calendar of women who have had mastectomies with and without reconstruction.  I think this is a great idea.  I ordered two.  I'll definitely give one to my PS and possibly to the surgeons in general at the hospital, so they'll have something to show their bc patients.  I've only seen pictures on the web.  I don't know if it has to do with being a military hospital but I've not been shown pictures there.  It possibly has to do a lot with the fluid nature of the staff.

I've got so much to say, but I don't know if any will get said.

Tonight had an interesting conversation with the boys.  The new devotional book we've been using is quite modern, and probably "cool".  Every day has a bit of trivia of something that happened on that day and the devotion at times has to do with that trivia.  Today is women's equality day, and the discussion was about that.  God created women distinctly and separately  - we are unique. (which does not negate equality)  Anyway, the day's "to do" was to compare and contrast mom and dad.  So we asked the boys how are we different.  LOL!  They came up with some physical traits, but when pushed for thoughts about our actions and attitudes - they really didn't come up with much.  They *could* compare us with them.  So that tells me, they see us as the same.  You know?  We are a unit.  (I guess that explains why they call me daddy and Gary mommy!)  It shouldn't be surprising to me.  We come out of the womb self absorbed, and I think that's a trait that takes work to change.  I also find it interesting because, as a parent to twins, I have always done my best to make an effort to see their differences and try oh-so-hard to not lump them together.  It's hard to do sometimes.  Meanwhile, they are NOT making the same effort and we are lumped together.  I don't mind, because I'm an adult and don't take it personally - that's just the way it is.  But I do hope there comes a time when they can see me for myself, not just "parent".

Okay, since I brought up the subject of differences between men and women, it's a good segue (sp? segway) to an article I read in today's paper.  It's about something that is common in Samoa.  A "third gender".  Called fa'afafine.  It's little boys raised as girls.  The article said it was common in large families.  The parents make the decision - if a boy has feminine characteristics or if a family just needs another female in the household to help out with chores - the boy is raised as a girl to help with the household duties.  Now they didn't get into details and statistics, but I think it's interesting how it shows how strong nurture is in influencing sexuality.  (I'm not saying that nature doesn't exist, but it's certainly not the sole influence)  Because they did say that fa'afafine either date straight men as a straight woman would, or they try to put aside that and marry women in order to have children.  Anyway, they highlighted a person who came to america, thinking that she would be easily accepted, due to her ideas gleaned from t.v.  Think Ru Paul.  (and Maury, I'm sure)  She did not get the open arm welcome she imagined, but is taking it very well, I think.  Considering she did this article, her goal is to educate us.  I am referring to her as her, even though she is a he.  It's confusing.  And since it's part of the Samoan culture, they are accepted there.  In the "christian" families (and I put that in quotes because people use that term loosely and I don't know what's what and think it's interesting that a christian family would do this to a child) the fa'afafine are accepted if they appear publicly as celibate.  (and since they stated it that way, do they sneak around? I dunno)  Anyway, this is not something I had ever heard about and was just fascinated by the whole article.  They had pictures of the gal featured in the story and she is huge!  Everyone in the picture was looking up to her towering self (samoans ARE large people).  So I bet she does get a lot of sir, uh, ma'am.

Bedtime.  That's about all I can cram in at the moment.  Prolly too much said anyway.  I have another subject to discuss at a later date.  I'm a bit consumed with birthday party planning, and am totally in a tizzy because I put the wrong times on the invitations and don't have everyone's phone number!  Ack!  I've got to fix this mess!

2 comments:

lanurseprn said...

I've never heard of that Samoan tradition. I would like to see the article. Maybe I can find it on the internet. I don't agree with doing that to a child. But, whatever.
Pam

amyrangei said...

That is a very interesting subject, nature vs. nurture.  I did a paper on that, and even in that didn't come to a conclusion, I just believe it's a combination of both?