Wednesday, August 22, 2007

3 month follow up (long rambling junk)

You may want to skip this entry, it's long, doesn't make sense, and is boring...

For some reason, I'm having a hard time writing about this, although I need to get it out.  I went in for my follow-up today.  3 months since the exchange surgery.  I hardly slept at all last night, because I figured I'd have to fight to get revisions.  So I went in and he asked me how I'm doing and I said fine, but I'm not happy.  And he said, well, tell me about it.  So, I'm so bad with words, I bumble around a bit and finally spit out that I'm concave on top, still have this flat-ness, weird point, creases don't match, weird bumps - it all comes out in a jumble.  So he takes a look and pokes and prods and we discuss putting in a silicone gel implant, and what he can and can't fix.  whew.  Frankly, I think he's happy with the outcome, but *I* am not happy.  And he thinks we can do better.

I have to wait until I'm more healed.  He said my scar needs to fade - and he gave an explanation that I don't remember.  But he said the outcome would be much better if I'm fully healed, less internal scarring.  So we are going to do it after the marathon in December.  He promised me that we could have it all done, nipples and tattoos by March.  He wasn't going to let me move until we're done.  :-)

I have a headache.  I took pictures last night to show him how awful it was.  But the pictures were so very awful, I couldn't bear to print them.  The thing is, I've seen worse.  I mean, really worse.  Why risk it?  ----- ugh!

As you can tell, (at least I can tell), I haven't been praying about this and haven't been in the Word, so I'm totally discombobulated.  discomboobulated.  LOL!  I made a funny.  Still have a headache though.

Vanity is a weird thing when you are not used to being pretty.  You still have a set of standards even though you know you'll never be pretty.  So it's disconcerting when you don't even reach the barest minimum standard.  It's like living a rotten hair day, all the time.

Okay, time for this post to end.  Gotta make the kids do homework...


nay0114 said...

So sorry you're unhappy. I hope the doctor will work with you on correcting what you want done. You need to feel good about this do whatever it takes.
Take care, Chrissie

gosso23 said...

Aww Steph, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. You are right to speak up. He has to know that you aren't happy. It's your boob! It's a major thing. I am glad he was open minded and willing to help. discomboobulated...hee hee too funny! I am sure you look beautiful! As for the rotten hair day thing..I know what ya mean!!! LOLOL
Take care, Trish

lanurseprn said...

I am glad that he will work with you on fixing it. March isn't that far off. BTW...I've seen your picture. You ARE pretty!! So knock if off!