assumptions & rebellion

Yesterday I got sucked in to reading things that got me pondering.

Online, I've got a few acquaintances who are very different from me, uh, religiously.  One woman, I've previously referred to her as my arch nemesis.  She's not, I just like that term.  We crossed paths once and she flamed the living daylights out of me and I posted a hasty retreat.  She does not know that I read her blog.  No, I'm not a stalker, she actually scares me.  I do like her writing because she's smart and a good writer and I think it's morbid curiosity.  Maybe a hint of stalking, now that I read this.  LOL!  But, she does spew abuse to those who do not comply with her viewpoint, so it's wise to stay away from her radar.  Her blog yesterday spewed forth venom yet again.  (it's her blog and she can blog what she wants to - no, not a J-lander)

The other gal is not like this lady at all.  She's nice, but we have our own different minds about subjects that we agreed we cannot talk about.  We both belong to an online group and converse regularly.  She's also part of an online book review thing, so I get updates on her current reads.  One book in particular she's reading caught my attention so I looked it up on amazon and read reviews.

What's in common with these two things, the book and the blog entry?  The assumptions made.  Almost identical.

What comes to mind when you hear these things?:

I'm Southern Baptist

I'm a Christian

I'm curious what you thought.  I hope it wasn't horrible.  But if it was like what I read, I wouldn't like me either.  I'm glad these people/things aren't the definers of  reality.  :-)

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So, for those of you who don't like religious talk, here's your cue to exit...

Well, I felt compelled to say SOMETHING.  Had to get it off my chest and this is all the Lord is allowing.  In fact, when my blood started to boil, the Lord told me that I was supposed to be praying for my arch nemesis (heretofore known as A.N.).  I have NOT been praying for my A.N.  I have been rebelling.  He's been telling me for years to pray for her and I've thrown out a few.  But He's compelling me to do it again.  Have you tried to ignore God when He's asking you to pray for someone?  It's hard!!  I hope I'm not the only one who struggles with rebellion.  Well, maybe I should hope that I am!  :-)  Anyway, there were some particular words that literally jumped off the screen at me and smacked me in the face and said, this woman is crying out for help regardless that her words are just the opposite.  Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.  It's hard.

Is it melodramatic of me to want to call her my arch nemesis (A.N.)?    ;-)

good news!

My mammogram was good!  Yipee!

Whew!

She had to retake one shot (due to denseness), and then it took them forever to read them.  But very much worth the wait.  It felt so unusual to just walk away.  She came in and told me I was good to go, so I had to confirm exactly what she meant.  She said, it's good, see ya next year!  (I gave a little whoop!)

What a relief.  When I was sitting there in the gown, waiting and waiting, I started to get those familiar feelings.  I didn't like the looks of that stereotactic table, and there was some poor lady in the ultrasound room.  All reminders to me that no, I'm not crazy to be so diligent in checking myself in the shower.  It happens, it did happen, and it can happen again.

But for now, I can breathe!  And I do like breathing in that fresh Hawaii air!

B@@B post

Okay, I've just been reading posts at a BC site and felt compelled to post.  I was reading about a young lady who recently had a mastectomy (a double) and felt like a 14 year old boy and was afraid to show her DH.  (her DH has been very kind and gentle with her)  These are VERY common feelings.  I just feel compelled to express my gratitude to my DH.  It didn't much even cross my mind (poor guy) that he might not want to see.  I didn't give him a choice after my surgery.  He was the one to unwind me from the wrap.  He was the first to see - even before me.

As I've gone through these months since surgery, he's been subjected to me pointing out EVERYTHING.  Honey, come look at this.  Honey, look at the marks this bra left on me.  Honey, look at how I don't fill out this bra.  Honey, do you think I'll be this same shape after my surgery? ... Poor man.  It doesn't occur to me that this is not as fascinating to him as it is to me.  Except when it's time to be "close".  Ahem.  THEN I want to cover up.  But bless his soul, it's all gotta come off.  Not only do I have this scarred fake boob and the scarred natural boob, I've got all this blubber.  I'm at my very heaviest, not counting pregnancy.  He doesn't care.  Now that's a good man!  (and maybe bordering on desperate?  LOL!)

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Okay, off of sex and on to the other bosom subject.  Yesterday I drove home from the camping trip.  It took about 1 1/2 hours.  DH's car.  Got home and took a shower.  Noticed a largish dent in the center of my boob.  Ack!  Wasn't there before.  And, does it look smaller?  Do I have a leak?  Didn't feel sloshy.  Not to panic. I've had weird indentations from seams in bras, so I was going to wait and see.  I was wearing my fave bra, so that wasn't it.  Maybe the expander rotated due to the rough night of tent sleeping?  Wonder, wonder.  So I used my free time to go to the mall.  Guess what?  It soon became clear that it was the seat belt!!  It hits my chest in a different spot than my car!  Ding, ding, ding!!  (I'm sure you figured it out immediately) 

This does not happen to natural boobs.  At least it hasn't ever happened to me before.  Will this happen withimplants?  Or will a whole new set of surprises come?  Oh, the other thought I had.  What if I did have a leak?  How would that affect my high blood pressure, all that saline flooding my system?  Gotta ask the PS that one.  But I doubt he will know.  Just a hunch.

Obviously it's bedtime.  You may not believe this - but I will not be dwelling on this all night.  I'm not the type, usually, where thoughts swirl around all night keeping me awake.  (only if I'm nervous about an event happening the next day, "first day of school syndrome")  Now that I've released it out there, I probably won't even give it a second thought and will forget to ask the PS!  LOL!  I have dingy moments.  :-)

busy, busy, busy

camping with the cubscouts this weekend.  I stayed just one night. I can't do two nights!  Egads!  A gal needs a shower in private!

No, I had to meet someone at church this morning, so that was my excuse for coming home.  We are discussing hosting a 5 day bible club this summer in my backyard - the lady we're talking to works for Child Evangelism.  She's like in her 80's - but spunky!  Our church isn't having a vacation bible school - and I haven't heard about any other churches having one.  Lot's of kids come to the Lord, or first hear about the Lord this way, so I think it would be great to host this.

My birthday is tomorrow.  I'll be 42.  (yes, I'm still clinging to the 41 for as long as I can)  I don't feel any older.  But I hope this year is better than last.  Let's see.  I'm getting a new boob and getting a lift - so that's a good start.  We are going out to eat tonight instead of tomorrow.  I'm recording The Two Towers - so I'm not missing it!

Anyway, my mammogram is Tuesday.  I finally broke down and told my Sunday School class.  Well, I've only attended the class like 4 times.  The teacher always passes out index cards for you to write your name and number and a prayer concern to share with one other person in the class. I did that, but I thought I really needed to get the whole class praying for me.  No need to keep things such a secret.  Of course I started bawling - but I'm an easy crier.  Anyway, our sweet teacher offered to come with me to my mammogram.  How sweet is that?  She said that she had a friend, about 10 years ago, go through all this and she went to a lot of her appointments.  I would love to have her go, but I've got to carry the boys to their dad's work so he can watch them during my appointment.  (surprise, no school that day)  Too many moving parts, it makes me anxious just thinking about it!

I'll post camping pictures when I get them downloaded. 

pictures and interesting news

First, the pictures.  I tried taking pictures of my hair, but they were just too horrible.  I am not photogenic.  But last night I was looking at my hair drooping down beside my face and thought, they look like dog ears.  And then I flashed back to when I was a kid and my mom used to put my hair up in pigtails.  We called them puppy dog ears.  So I did that and took a goofy picture of myself.  Just little nubs on either side.  But funny.

2nd.  I found a spongebob tattoo.  I think it's perfect!  Can't wait to surprise my plastic surgeon.  I'm sure he won't remember, but *I'll* be laughing, and that counts.  He-he!

Now for the interesting news.  During supper last night, Gary asks me what I think about Japan.  As in, moving there on our next assignment.  Of course, I was jumping up and down out of my seat!  I've got itchy feet and love to travel.  I'm thrilled at the prospect of living in another country!  I didn't think we'd ever go further than Hawaii.  I'm stunned that he's even considering it.  My DH is such a homeboy.  He denies it, but he'd be happy living next door to his mama all his life.

Now, you might think that's weird, considering I just posted about yearning to go back to Alabama.  No one said it had to make sense.  I do long for roots, but I also love to travel and see what this old world's all about.

So I post haste hopped online and missed most of American Idol.  I looked up the base, which is near Tokyo, and found out they had pictures and floor plans of housing.  No matter how much I've travelled, it still stuns me that a point on the other side of the globe can look so much like everywhere else I've been.  Call me crazy, but by golly, it's got grass, dirt, trees, blue skies...  I know that's a "duh" thing, but I still have that instant of surprise.  And the pictures of the housing?  Just like every other housing on every other military installation in America.  Same old cinder block house or townhouse.  Nothing unfamiliar there.  Gary tells me that the we would have a particular house.  The job he would do is considered "essential personnel", so there is an assigned house on base.  Interesting...  And it would be a little bit bigger because he would have to have been promoted to get that job.  From O-5 to O-6.  (from Lt.Col. to Col.)  I wonder if I'm too old to learn Japanese?

marathon update

I don't think I mentioned this before, I've really been upset by it.  But Gary came to the realization that his December Japan trip will coincide with the date of the marathon.  I would not be able to do the marathon because who would watch the boys for 8+ hours?

Susan would, that's who!  She's Patrick's mom, one of my mom friends in the VMW (vortex of motherly wisdom).  Her husband is running the marathon, so they will be up and there already.  The boys are best friends, so they will entertain each other - and she doesn't know this yet, but I'm taking a hotel room so they can even go there and swim.  She is a teacher and is SO GOOD with kids.  She's amazing.  She even offered to have the boys sleep over.

This would be such an answer to prayer.

Again, my problems are minor, but this made me really happy.

I love May!

I have decided that May is my favorite month - after December (because of Christmas).  May is full of so many fun things in the Brock household.

Birthdays:  Mine!, my MIL's, my brother's, my SIL's, a niece

Holidays: Mother's day, Memorial Day and Boy's Day

Mine and Gary's Anniversary #19

Plus this year I get a new boob and a lift on the old remaining one.

It's all good!  The only dark clouds are so trivial, calling them dark clouds is just melodrama.  Let's see, I have a mammogram (I've already beat that dead horse), I don't have my contact yet (but it's been ordered) and my new haircut looks like Prince Valient.

Let's discuss the haircut.  Let's not.  Prince Valient says it all.  I'll go back and get highlights and when I do I'll get her to work on the shape.  Maybe my bangs will have grown out a tad by then...  Yes, I'm going back.  I liked her personality.  AND she said she likes my gray on me.  LOL!  I guess flattery does work!  But I must say, Earl did do a much better haircut.  I think it was a miscommunication.  I hope.  LOL!

I've got to say this though, the haircut on another person would look fine.  I've been noticing it everywhere.  Patricia Arquette on Medium has it, Barbara Walters has it.  But I've got just enough curl and weirdness that I look more like PV.  It needs a little tapering to get a cute, rounder fun fluffy wedgy shape in back, and not such a severe cut on the bang.  Normally, the hairdressers do this without me having to tell them.  I usually just have to tell them how short and to not cut the sides short and it always turns out pretty much the same.  Hmmm.

There.  I've gotten it out of my system.  Now we all can get on with our regular programming.  :-)

I'm so vain.