it's so distressing!

Another pedestrian killed.  The 9th death in 9 weeks.  And the most distressing thing is that most are elderly.  Not even using the crosswalk.  It has been so bad that the police have been out specifically ticketing jay-walkers.  They did a news segment on it, and it showed an officer giving a warning to an elderly lady (who jaywalked because she was running late for mass) and then later the cameraman showed the same lady jaywalking again!  Stubborn!   I'm so distressed over this.

And then, this week an elderly tourist who was here with his wife, stabbed her to death!  They were in their 80's!

And then Britney Spears running wild, Anna Nicole - will they please lay her to rest - her poor baby daughter.  Augh!!

Is it a full moon?  The winter season?  Something in the water?  Global warming?

I stopped watching the news when it scared me to death as a teenager.  It seems I need to stop again.  I still can't handle it.

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I need to lighten up.

Ryan announced last week that he was going to spend spring break writing songs.  He has already written 3.  "Love package", "Love Giraffe" and "Dirty, dirty boy".  Get your head out of the gutter!!  They have spontaneously written songs ever since they could sing, so this should be an interesting spring break. (in March)

I've departed from my usual reading material, and am reading "Eragon".  We ordered it from Scholastic, and I was surprised that it was the whole book!  I thought it would be a little excerpt or something.  Anyway, so far I'm enjoying it.  I could critique it, but I'm just going to enjoy the story.  That's what books are for.  Still debating whether or not to read it to the boys.  I'm looking for something that is long, but not chockablock with words that are made up.  I'd like something that would enhance their grasp of language, wholesome, yet also be entertaining.  Maybe something like Robin Hood or Hardy Boys.  Suggestions appreciated.

what you don't hear about...

Hawaii.  And you probably never will because tourism is everything.  And we must not taint the image.

There was an incident that happened last week that really got me angry (and I don't get so angry so easily), but I'm calmed down now and Gary threw away the paper, so I really can't accurately report on it.  But this is what I remember.  There is a shopping outlet here called Waikele.  It's really nice, and always crowded, and pretty safe.  So there was a little fender bender.  The car that got bumped was owned by a teen and the car was bumped by a white guy who is a soldier.  The teen was exceedingly angry and words flew.  Racial epiteths from the teen.  The wife of the soldier got out of the car and tried to push the teen off her husband, intervene.  The FATHER of the teen then slams the WOMAN to the ground where she lay in a lifeless heap.  The teen then punches the soldier in the throat which knocked him out onto the concrete where he lay in a lifeless heap.  Then the teen (and maybe father, I can't remember) began kicking the soldier.  Remember, this is a crowded place and no one does a thing.  I'm sure they are scared to death.  Meanwhile, the couple's three year old child is in the car witnessing this whole thing!!!!  That really makes me angry and sad.  The parents are in intensive care, both with concussions.  THe soldier also has broken ribs, broken eye sockets and I can't remember what else.  ALL FOR A STUPID CAR!!  A LITTLE BUMP.  And don't even go to "well the father was just being a papa bear and trying to protect his baby bear"  BULL!  Obviously he was big enough and strong enough to lay out a 2 time Iraqi war vet with one punch.  Plus, dear old papa had been jailed for beating on said son when he was 11.  EUREKA!  That's where the unreasonable, uncontrollable temper comes from.

Okay, so that's nothing you can't hear about anywhere.  But this is what you won't hear.  The racism.  Yes, in "The Gathering Place".  The incident happened on a MOnday and wasn't in the paper until a Thursday, and I didn't even see it until it was in the Saturday paper.  I read the paper every day.  There was a quote  in the article that I read that was either by the defense lawyer or some professor of racial studies (or some such title) in which the person said that on the mainland, this would be classified a race hate crime, but not here in Hawaii.  I guess because Hawaii is ABOVE that.  Love, peace and racial harmony.  Oh, the teen was a native Hawaiian.  Native Hawaiians are very angry and resentful of haole's.  White folk.  More specifically, they are resentful of losing their monarchy and how the US took Hawaii into statehood.  Whether rightly so or not is beside the particular point.  You cannot deny the race card because that's what escalated it in the first place.  That and the fact that he learned violence at the hands of dear old dad.

Here in Kailua, it's a much calmer place to live.  I'd forgotten about the tensions.  And that's because it's more "small town" and very hippy and sometimes chic.  Kailua is a very small town, geographically speaking - but large on population.  Gary and I had a guessing game and he guessed 10,000 people.  Wrong.  38,000!  There are about 8-900,000 people on this little island alone.  So tensions are going to run high regardless.

Anway, you won't hear about the racial tensions here.  And while it *is* a very diverse population, it's diverse in a particular way.  Diverse with pacific islanders and various asian nationalities and a mixture of these.  There is a single digit percentage of black folks and even less hispanic.  (Barak Obama went to high school here and had no role models - they did a whole article in the paper on his time here)  Yes, whites are in minority, but hovering around 38%ish (IIRC).  When you are from the south, it's very evident that the only black folks here are military.  You miss them!!  Don't laugh at me.  You miss what is familiar.  But anyway, all of that was more obvious to me on our first tour here.  Not so much this tour.  I think it's because I stay home so much and I know what's what.  And it's not PC to notice race.  :-)

You will also never hear that the temperature rises above 82 degrees, which it indeedy-do does, and you won't see pictures of the average Joe's home.  I keep threatening to take pictures of the ugliness that is here.  Just because it is so contrasting to the natural beauty.  But I still need to buy a camera.

Please don't think that this is a horrible place to live!  It's not.  As long as there is sin in this world, there will be ugliness.  And don't think I hate the people or am afraid.  I don't and I'm not.  Generally, everyone is very nice and friendly.  But just don't romanticize it.  As Dr. Phil would say, "let's get real".

Oh, and I have to add, Gary would probably not approve this message - he's not involved at all.  This is not a reflection on him.  Have to add this disclaimer.  DH is a much nicer person than me.   I don't think he even knows I have a journal.  LOL! 

BC gals

I just wanted to post a shout out to Trish (gosso23). Yippee-Ki-Yi_Yay!  She's had her last chemo this week.  She's not feeling well right now, but all that will be history for her very soon.  I think all those are have to do chemo are very brave and strong individuals and their families are heros.

Kim (demandnlilchit) has been through with her chemo for about a month now?  She's returning to her usual feisty self and is such an awesome writer.  I'm sure you've already checked out her poem she posted today.  (or was that yesterday?  the whole time difference thing has me crazy)

Barbara (evanmyangel88), where are you girl??  I'm praying for you and cheering you on.  You are in my thoughts quite a bit.  Barbara is in the midst of the most frustrating chemo and she posts when she can.

I feel like this is my J-land booby posse.  Okay, I need a better name than that.  And if you've been lurking and feel a part of the kinship due to bc - you're in the posse too!  Not that anyone WANTS to be a part of the posse.

Have you checked yourself this month??  Are you overdue for your mammogram??  Get on it!

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Ryan fell within the normal range for handwriting.  I don't know if I've talked about this yet, but he was recently evaluated by the school OT to see if we could get him some help.  SHucks.  This poor child is the epitome of falling between the cracks.  He is a smart guy, that he's doing "good enough" to fall within the acceptable range.  But he's not living up to his potential!  He would just be stellar in school if it wasn't a horrible thing to write.  He used to love school, and he's ONLY in 2nd grade.  Well, more on this later.  He's hounding me at the moment.  :-)

victory!!

I am woman, hear me ROAR!!

I swear, my next career will be in plumbing.  I have fixed yet another toilet.  Every time we move, there are toilet problems.  Of different varieties.  Of different styles of toiletry innards.  I have completed yet another new fix.  For under $5.  <patting myself on the back>  Took less than 5 minutes.  Maybe I'll teach basic plumbing repairs to young ladies.

I'm not sure why, but things like this really get me excited!  I love doing little electrical and plumbing fixes around the house.  Makes me feel, powerful!

brushes with fame

First, the biggee.  We saw Desmond from LOST the other night.  We were sitting in the McDonalds and DH looks up and says "Steph, look".  I'm thinking he's trying to scam some fries (he's done it before), but I turn quickly and then turn back.  He said, did you see him?  Who?  Desmond from Lost.  Are you trying to steal my fries?  No, seriously.  I turn and catch his profile as they (him and a girl) walk past.  They were walking outside on the sidewalk.  Yep, that's his profile.  But, then again, there are a lot of thin, shaggy haired men here.  DH said it was for sure.  He saw him full faced. 

Hee-hee!  Love it.  Too bad they didn't get a snack from McD's.

The second one, not so big.  Today we ate at TGIF's.  The only one on the island, that I know of.  I ordered the sandwich and soup that Betty from Top Chef created.  It was okay, coulda been better if the restaurant had made it right.  The bottom piece of bread was not toasted.  It was drenched in the butter but soggy and not even browned.  Disappointing.  The soup was lukewarm.  It would have been good if prepared right.  A bit greasy.  But that was due to the butter they drench the bread in.

more rambling

I was just reminded of Oprah's latest thing.  I'm really not sure about her.  This "the secret" thing on the surface sounds reasonable with some flakiness thrown in - but I just have the most uneasy feeling about it.  The same when she had that lady on there years ago who was all about LOVE.  Now I haven't seen a whole show uninterrupted - it comes on during homework time.  I guess I'm uneasy about how God is eliminated from the picture.  A bit humanistic in that you are made to believe that you can actually direct your life if you just do the right things, have the right mindset.   I'm not getting this out right.  Some of the things I heard I do agree with, I just don't like the closeness to things that you do as part of your relationship to God, yet leave Him out of it.  I don't know if that was the intention, but it sure seemed like it - that piece of the pie was so completely missing.   I mean, Oprah is always referring to a, or your, higher power - but never actually asserting that there is One.  Too wishy washy and politically correct for my taste, compromising.  I guess you do that when you are a billionaire.  I feel like she's, intentionally or not, starting a religion almost or finding the good things about it and making a secular replacement for it.  Does that make sense?

Whatever.  I need to really pray about it before I watch any more of those shows.  Actually, if I have a bad feeling about it, then that should be enough for me to just flip her off for good. (not give her the bird, flip off the tv!)  That's a hard move for me to make, since I like being informed.  But I also know how easily influenced I am - and do I reallly want Oprah to be my spiritual guide???? NO!  

Well, I know that my thoughts will not be popular.  And they are poorly written.  Just know, if you are uncomfortable about this secret thing, you are not alone.  I may be alone, and I can stand alone just fine.  It's interesting trying to walk that line of judging what is true, keeping your mind open enough to break away from things you may have been taught as true that you discover are not, and protecting yourself from the slickest deceptions.  Staying in prayer and staying in the Word are so very precious.  Time to don the armor!

movies

We rented movies this weekend.  The boys got a Pokemon movie and Space Jam.  Gary and I rented You, Me and Dupree.  It was a great, quirky date movie.  The romantic comedy part for the girls, and Owen Wilson for the guys.  Anything with Adam Sandler or Ben Stiller is a sure fire thing that a guy will see.  LOL!  We also went OUT to see Night at the Museum.  I thought it was scarey, according to the previews, but a playground mom told me it wasn't.  It WAS a bit intense - but the boys liked it.  Warning, the previews before the movie were NOT age appropriate.  I hate that.  I want to see Bridge to Terabithia next.

I thought for sure that Jake would have a night terror, but he didn't.  He's my night terror boy.   When he was much younger, he went through a long phase of having them nightly.  We eventually started going into his room and shaking him at about 10:00 each night.  That was usually before they would happen.  And 80% of the time it worked.  We found this advice on the internet.  It's supposed to keep him from going into too deep a sleep.  Eventually he stopped.  Either fell out of the habit or outgrew it.  Who knows.  But he will still have them on the night of a big day.  Like the first day of school or when something memorable happens like a strongly imaged movie or a class field trip.

Today the cubscouts had their Blue and Gold banquet.  It was fun for the boys.  Games, food, badges - all kinds of good fun.  Rats, still don't have a camera.  The bane of a scrapbooker.  Speaking of which, I got a few pages done this past week.  I've probably done 4 pages this year.  Not great, but something is better than nothing.  I think I'm getting my groove back since moving here.  However, it's getting a little, you know.  I'm kinda tired of doing soccer pages.  At least they haven't done soccer in a while, they are in martial arts now - and I have very few pictures of that.  Me getting smart!  We are hoping to get them into ukulele next time.

 

toes and bras

First the toe news.  I took off my toenail polish and I've got a little black spot on my toenail.  Gary said it was from all my walking.  You know, like how runner's toenails turn black and fall off from too much running.  LOL!  So I have a tiny little dot.  I really don't think I've done all that much.  Just wait until I get into the serious training!

Bra news.  Yes, I bought another bra.  I figured I have time to buy something that is stretchy and soft in the cup, but without a seam and no wires!  (I HATE wired bras)  I found something that is okay.  I'm gonna need it for as long as I have this stinkin expander.  I assume when I get my new soft squishy boob, bras will feel better.  If I weren't one sided, I wouldn't wear anything.  All the bilateral gals say they love to go without bras, or with a camisole instead. 

Anyway, when I was in the changing room I was shocked for two reasons.  One, the flourescent light - you know how horrible they are - revealed a bruised looking boob.  I have very transluscent skin.  I literally look more purple than pink, or peach or whatever color white folks are supposed to be.  But the wonderful soft lighting I have in our bathroom I don't see this bruising.  (I look GOOD in our bathroom!  my gray hair looks like blonde highlights! the picture on my blog was taken in our bathroom - just imagine how horrible I look in flourescent lighting!!  Yikes!)  The bruised area is centered right where the port on my expander is.  I'm wondering what to blame.  Tight bras?  Bumping into things unknowingly?  My latest attempts at sleeping on my side?  Walking?  (heaven forbid that one!)

Shock Reason #2.  My gargantuan derriere.  Oh-My-Word!  I have my mom's butt!  I mean, I've always had her huge hips and her big butt - but she's a lot bigger now than she used to be - and I think our rears are the same size.  <faint>  She's 71.  She has an excuse.  I'm 41.  No excuse.  Except sitting on my huge fanny cruzing the net.  (and stuffing my face)  I'm too young to be 71.  No, no, no!  Augh!!!  <freak out>

new delay

I'm bummed.  I just got a call and my next fill appointment had to be rescheduled.  It was supposed to be for Wednesday the 21, but it got bumped all the way to March 12!   An extra 2 1/2 weeks.  Well, it doesn't sound so long when I put it that way.   It sounds longer if I say 5 weeks between fills.  Hey, maybe I can talk myself out of being bummed.  I'm at a good size, fairly even.  It's comfortable, and it'll give me time to find a bra that will feel good when they "biggie size" me.  Plus, I counted from the March date, and 6 weeks out from there is the end of April.  So maybe I can still have surgery in April.  I'd really rather not have it in May, just because of my birthday, anniversary, mother's day and all the rest.  But I'll take it whenever they can schedule it.

ugh, by may/june I'll be due for my yearly pap and mammogram.  I'm not looking forward to that mammogram.  I wonder if I need to schedule it before I have my surgery, since I'm getting a lift on the good side?  Hmmmm.... Things to ponder.  I'm really kinda afraid that it will show something and things will be thrown into a tizzy again.  That sort of thing happens to me all the time.   I'm not saying that I won't have my mammogram.  I just need to prepare myself.  When I get myself set on a schedule, and things get changed, I don't like it.  But if I prepare myself, then I'm cool. 

Or maybe they will tell me to have the mammogram later.  Like July, or however long it takes to heal sufficiently. 

Pam inspired me

Yes, I'm blaming this entry on you!  LOL!

It's currently sunny, beautiful and 80 degrees.  I'll be grilling a flank steak and we'll eat our Valentines dinner outside in our shorts, as usual.  If it dips down to 72, we might put on long sleeved shirts.  Well, maybe only me, since girls get chilly quicker than guys.

How's that snow??

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I know.  That was cruel and evil.  My only regret is that my camera is broken and I can't SHOW you how beautiful it is.

Who knew I was so bad??  I might as well enjoy it now.  Our next assignment will probably be in Iceland.  We're due a hardship tour.  Especially if they suspect Gary will retire soon.

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Augh!  ANOTHER teacher busted for dealing drugs, cocaine and something else.  A teacher was busted last fall for selling Meth. and two teachers were caught smoking pot before school in the car pool parking lot.  Great.  That means that they are going to start testing teachers for drugs.  Instead of using the money to increase salaries or fix the schools or buy books...

pictures of my purchases.

These are the Robeez that I got for my new baby grandnephew.  Cute, huh?

 

This is that puppy in a purse that I got for my niece.

 

This is one of the t-shirts I got my other niece - I couldn't find a pic of the Local Motion design that I got her.

 

As you can see, it's fun shopping for babies and girls. 

reminder

Don't forget Valentines day!

Of course, I've forgotten it already.  It's too late to send a card to the mainland and hope it gets there on time.  I forgot to get cards today while I was out.  But I do need to remember my bubbas.

I'm making a strawberry cake as a special treat, and grilling a flank steak for Valentines Dinner.

Yes, I have almost redeemed myself.  I went out and bought some little Robeez for my new nephew - they are these expensive cute little soft shoes for babies.  I bought the baby blue kind with a monkey face on the top.  For my 6 year old neice, I bought a Local Motion shirt to go with the other shirt I got her.  For my neice who will be 3 in March, I bought a little doggie in a purse.  It's so cute.

Now to pack it all up and mail it.  I can do that!

I'm still here

I just don't have much to say.

I feel so very bad.  I forgot my neice's birthday!   It was in early January.  And no, it's not in retaliation.  They forgot Jake and Ryan's birthday - and were even reminded of it by my parents (who were royally mad).  But I totally forgot and no one reminded me.  It just hit me all of a sudden, for no particular reason.  So I've bought a cute little shirt and will go out and buy a card and apologize profusely!  Poor little Sydney.  She's the oldest of the clan and she's only 6.  She has a baby brother and toddler sister, so I feel for her.

And to top it off, Gary's niece had her first baby in December and we haven't even sent a card!!  How awful!  I've been shopping and I did buy an adorable Ty bear and a little tiny baby blue new testament and a cute card, but I need to add just one more thing to make it complete.  Of course, this all doesn't even phase Gary.  So tomorrow, I'm off to find Hawaiian style stuffs and go ahead and buy something for Sarah - her birthday is in March.  No time like the present.  Then actually get everything in the mail.

I have GOT to get all these birthdays and such into some foolproof system.  I have all my addresses and mess in a little recipe box, written on index cards and alphabetized.  But if you don't remember what months have the birthdays, you never look.  And I haven't had a chance to update my calendar.  Oy.  Technically, I still haven't finished my Christmas cards.  I have an address here on the computer desk under this pile of papers that I need to unearth.  Help me!  I'm drowning in a sea of disorganization!!

camping pictures

We went camping at the same botanical park that I took the boys to last month.  It was gorgeous.  Too bad that you could hear the traffic on the LikeLike and H3 all night.  And the early morning rooster!  LOL!  The wild chickens around here crack me up!  You can see that Gary is sunburned and Ryan has pink cheeks.

are you a good cook?

I don't know how to answer that question any more.  I used to think I was a pretty good cook.  How else do you explain the 40 pounds I've put on after I got married?  But I wonder now...

Scrambled eggs, raw, yet at the same time, scorched.

What kind of cook am I??

I"m blaming the pans.  We have a set of aluminum camping pans that we got for Christmas one year.  Our little propane table top cooker has two settings, off and on.  Supposedly you can adjust it, but you really can't.  It's like cooking with a torch.

We are in the market for a cast iron pan.  I used to have one, but it's either in storage or got sold in a yard sale.

va-voom

Next time will be va-va-va-voom.  I got 75 cc's today and it looks equal to me.  Well, as equal as you can get.  The reconstructed side has the flat lopped off look, so it doesn't fill out a bra correctly.  The doc says one more fill, to make it larger, which will aid in the natural droop.  (who wants droop?? LOL!)  At the next fill we will book the surgery!!

My camera is broken.  The new battery didn't help.  But I was able to plug the memory card directly into the pc.  Pictures will come later.

books, camping

We went camping this weekend and couldn't have asked for better weather.  Just when you started getting too hot, the clouds would come and a breeze and you'd cool off.  Just when you'd get too cool, the sun would pop out.  We all have sunburns from underestimating the UV index. Just like mom says, you can still get burned in cloudy weather!  The newsman said that last night was the record low for the year.  It was cold, but a sleeping bag and blanket was good enough.  Nothing like the 37 degrees we tried to camp out in!!  Went fishing, on a treasure hunt, made smores, made kites, all that good stuff.  My camera battery went dead today, so I can't even download pictures.  I'll buy a new battery tomorrow.  (Yes, I have regular batteries and rechargable.  The rechargable flaked out on me)

Tomorrow I go in for another fill.  That means I'll get to go to the other side of the island and go on a Walmart run!!  Yeah!

Have you heard of the 5 love languages?  Usually it's a book you read when you are about to get married.  By Gary Chapman, and I think Smalley.  I'm reading about discovering your child's love language.  I got this book years ago, and read it then.  But I've been rummaging around our books looking for things to read.  I figured this is a good time to read this since they are old enough to tell what their love language is.  The 5 languages are: physical touch, quality time, words of encouragement, gifts, acts of service.  Just off the cuff I'm guessing Ryan is quality time and Jake is physical touch.  But I'm going to read the whole book and take the time to really make a good effort at finding it out.

It's good to be home again.  I can't wait to be in my own comfy bed.

reminders...

I went to the commissary (grocery store) today to pick up some goodies for camping this weekend.  It's not uncommon to see injured war veterans of all sorts and varieties there.  But I saw a man that just set me back on my heels and reminded me that I have it good.  Real good.  He was carrying those plastic grocery sacks in each hook.  Yep, I said it.  Each hook.  Both of his arms were missing.  Then I looked down and he obviously had one special shoe on.  He was wearing jeans, so one can only guess what injury he sustained there.   Obviously he was getting along fine, but you wonder what it took to get there...

THIS is why I don't (at least try not to) whine about a silly missing boob.  I don't mourn it.  What's to mourn??  I do not have to learn how to walk again, or have to learn how to brush my teeth or take a bath.  All I have to do is figure out which bra to wear and whether or not to stuff.  Piece of cake.

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This is my journal expressing MY feelings.  Just remember that if you feel tempted to bash me for any percieved judgmentalism.

oh, by the way

The wind has stopped, finally.  But now it's cold.  Right now it's 68 degrees and it's not even suppertime.  I know, you feel no pity - and I'm not complaining!  Really!  But I think I may have to put on socks and long sleeves.      <big evil grin>

I'm reeling

relax, it's just tv stuff.  My "story" has gone crazy.  Guiding Light.  It's just the first 4 minutes and I happen to be sitting here, so I'm journaling without really knowing what's happened!  But they've already killed off Tami, and now Jonathan and baby Sarah??  Crazy.  They must be making room for some new stuff, but usually they introduce the new stuff before resolving old stuff.  Plus they did that crazy re-enactment thing.  It seemed like their way of warning us of a change coming.

Saw the Top Chef finale last night.  I figured Elan would win, but I wish the last thing could be totally drama free.  No chance.  What has gotten up Elia's bottom?  She had been Switzerland through this whole thing, but when she got to Hawaii, she seemed a little psycho.  I think she lost it when she cut her hair.  Plus I think she had a crush on Elan - she was giving him the eyes.  Why did Marcel pick Mike??  Mr. Irresponsible - if it's not on the list, I'm not gonna bother with it.  He should have picked Mia.

So now I'm going to have to watch the designer show that's next.  LOL!  Gotta love the reality shows. 

Speaking of reality shows... my playground mom friend was telling me about a co-worker of hers.  She sent in a tape to be on a new reality show called "Dream On".  They grant peoples dreams, or that's the so-called premise.  They liked her dream and her tape, so they sent a 2 inch thick contract.  She was supposed to fill out things like who her first love was, junk like that.  Asked her if she was into kinky things.  (why do they need to know this stuff?)  Plus the contract said they weren't liable for her embarrassment, if she pulled out, they could sue her for 1 million dollars.  Stuff like that.  Plus, she would be competing with other people to "win" her dream.  And America would vote.  Um, no way, no how.  She objected to some of the wording, and they sent the contract back with it removed from that section - and moved to another.  LOL!  These people are tricky.  So consider yourself forwarned if you dare to audition for a reality show.  Get a lawyer!!

Okay, is Jonathan dead or not??  You don't care.,..  I'll watch my story now.